You’re probably tired of being surrounded by or attracting individuals who dominate your life. Regardless of how much you assist or care for them, they always seem to require more—not just from you, but from everyone around them—despite their claims that you are the only one capable of providing help.

Most of us who tend to attract narcissistic individuals are naturally empathetic and have a tendency to invest deeply in relationships. While this inclination may seem positive—and it is, to some extent—being close to a narcissistic person who continuously takes without remorse can leave us feeling drained. We often deplete our own energy in an attempt to satisfy their insatiable need for validation.

Most individuals who attract narcissistic people are naturally empathetic and often have a tendency to give in relationships. While this inclination may seem positive—and it can be to some extent—being close to a narcissistic person who continually takes without remorse can deplete our own energy as we strive to meet their insatiable need for validation.

It is important to understand that this dynamic is neither inherently good nor bad nor involves a winner versus a loser. Each of these scenarios assumes that one person holds more power than the other, but that is not the case.

Why is this not true? In any dynamic, both parties possess power, particularly in a giver-taker relationship, which characterizes a narcissistic-giver dynamic. If the giver ceases to give, the narcissist will likely seek another source (they certainly do not give up easily). However, if the giver stands their ground, there is no genuine “dynamic” or “relationship,” and thus, both parties retain power.

The issue in many of these interactions is that the giver often struggles to recognize their own potential and power within the relationship, mistakenly believing that the only person in control is the narcissist. This perception may stem from how the narcissist is viewed by others. Due to their charisma, they may seem confident, often possessing a larger social circle and more resources. What the giver fails to understand is that without the “source” which is you, the giver, the narcissist would have no choice but to seek out another source of validation.

I believe that, above all, what givers fear the most is abandonment by narcissists. Due to this fear of being alone or losing the resources that the narcissist provides, givers often remain in these dynamics for unnecessarily long periods.

Remember

Everything you want in life begins with you.

Until next time,

Mercedes.