Marriage is the union of “two” to create.
When we talk about marriage between two “people” it is ideal to identify the qualities that attract us in the other person and identify them within ourselves. There is nothing that other people have that we lack. Each person expresses their personality in their own way, but that does not mean that we lack those qualities that attract us so much in the other person.
Where do we fail? The failure is usually believing that what attracts us in another person we do not have in ourselves and causes that harmful emotional attachment or dependence, which in the end ends up destroying the relationship since this creates an imbalance in the couple. Since we stop being ourselves to “please” or “depend” 100% on the other person, whether emotionally, physically or financially. This happens because we consider that the other person is there to satisfy that which we believe we do not have. For this reason, during the relationship, we do not know who we are or we lose our essence.
The idea is to know that what attracts us to another person is what we have to learn or reinforce in ourselves. Imagine that each person around us has a task to teach us; the couple has the task of reflecting to us that which “we believe we lack” so that we identify it within ourselves and put it into practice. Now when we resist seeing these qualities in ourselves and focus on emotional, physical or economic attachment; then these differences in the couple become wider and the imbalance between the couple increases.
The purpose of marriage is to create
What I have observed, the most “successful” marriages (I do not mean long-lasting) are those in which the couple focuses on creating. This creation can be children, creating a business, helping other couples, teaching, etc. When the focus of the couple is not on the other person but on a purpose greater than the couple itself; These marriages tend to be more successful, since many times couples who focus on a greater purpose, this purpose leads them to grow emotionally and this in turn strengthens this relationship.
Now how do we achieve a successful marriage? The answer is “simple” (not easy) individual growth is a secret ingredient to improve relationships with others especially the relationship with oneself and in turn the relationship as a couple.
Remember everything you want begins with you!
Let me know what you think?
Until next time.
Mercedes
